(In 2007 I came across a once in a lifetime opportunity for a trombone player such as myself; auditioning for the Houston Symphony Orchestra. During my preparation I wrote six pieces about my thoughts at the time. This is the third.)
In my minds eye, no matter how many years I end up living, I will always just see myself as a dumb ass kid carrying a trombone case headed to my lesson. You see, I am an Al Lube student - nothing more, nothing less. Unfortunately, I also see myself as one of his biggest disappointments as a student.
Mr. Lube had me under his trombone wing, so to speak, for six years - starting when I was sophomore in high school. As a high school senior, Mr. Lube would sneak me into some of the Houston Symphony Orchestra rehearsals. There I would be able to sit in the back of the rehearsal hall and just watch and listen to some of the best classical musicians in the world.
But; I was wooed away from the classical music world by the sounds of blues notes, extravagant high-brow parties and the thrill of fast times. Damn fool kid is what I call myself when I think back on those times. But then, I don't blame myself for going that route either. There, I found the guidance and comfort of other mentors in music - and life - who ended up being just as important to me as Mr. Lube.
By the time I was a young man, I had established myself as a successful professional free lance trombonist. Then, about a year away from making my move to the West Coast, I made an unwitting decision that took me out of the profession all together. Now, I'm sitting here in the middle of the night, pecking away on a computer keyboard posting my thoughts into this chasm called cyberspace; as the words of Terry Malloy, in the inimitable voice of Marlon Brando, endlessly recites in my head, "I could have been a contender… I could have been a contender..."
Because of the state I have let my life slip into; I don't consider winning an audition to be feasible anymore. In all of the symphony auditions I have been a part of; stretching myself personally by operating outside of my comfort zone was the main objective. Success was marked by just playing all of the orchestra excerpts in the first round before getting the "hook" – which I did accomplish on several occasions.
Now, it seems a small space has opened in my life; a space in which I have a good, comfortable, reliable place to practice; a space where I won't have to work at my second job for the next couple of weeks. And right in the big middle of that small space has appeared a very meaningful situation in which I can demonstrate how well I play the trombone; a situation that will give me the opportunity to stand on a world class stage, in front of the finest professional musicians around and make Mr. Lube proud of me again.
Yes indeed, when I step out onto that world class stage to audition for the Houston Symphony Orchestra, you can bet I won't be thinking about comfort zones, hooks, the state my life or opportunities squandered in the past. The only thing I will be thinking at that point is, "This one's for you, Mr. Lube."
(Side Note: You know, during one of my trombone lessons when I was a sophomore in high school, Mr. Lube looked at me and told me the mouthpiece I was playing on was named after him. In total awe, I looked down at the letters stamped on the bright shinny metal and read, "Bach 6 ½" AL" (intending for me to believe the AL was for Al Lube). He really told me that; and I really believed him… until I saw that coy little grin of his.)
In my minds eye, no matter how many years I end up living, I will always just see myself as a dumb ass kid carrying a trombone case headed to my lesson. You see, I am an Al Lube student - nothing more, nothing less. Unfortunately, I also see myself as one of his biggest disappointments as a student.
Mr. Lube had me under his trombone wing, so to speak, for six years - starting when I was sophomore in high school. As a high school senior, Mr. Lube would sneak me into some of the Houston Symphony Orchestra rehearsals. There I would be able to sit in the back of the rehearsal hall and just watch and listen to some of the best classical musicians in the world.
But; I was wooed away from the classical music world by the sounds of blues notes, extravagant high-brow parties and the thrill of fast times. Damn fool kid is what I call myself when I think back on those times. But then, I don't blame myself for going that route either. There, I found the guidance and comfort of other mentors in music - and life - who ended up being just as important to me as Mr. Lube.
By the time I was a young man, I had established myself as a successful professional free lance trombonist. Then, about a year away from making my move to the West Coast, I made an unwitting decision that took me out of the profession all together. Now, I'm sitting here in the middle of the night, pecking away on a computer keyboard posting my thoughts into this chasm called cyberspace; as the words of Terry Malloy, in the inimitable voice of Marlon Brando, endlessly recites in my head, "I could have been a contender… I could have been a contender..."
Because of the state I have let my life slip into; I don't consider winning an audition to be feasible anymore. In all of the symphony auditions I have been a part of; stretching myself personally by operating outside of my comfort zone was the main objective. Success was marked by just playing all of the orchestra excerpts in the first round before getting the "hook" – which I did accomplish on several occasions.
Now, it seems a small space has opened in my life; a space in which I have a good, comfortable, reliable place to practice; a space where I won't have to work at my second job for the next couple of weeks. And right in the big middle of that small space has appeared a very meaningful situation in which I can demonstrate how well I play the trombone; a situation that will give me the opportunity to stand on a world class stage, in front of the finest professional musicians around and make Mr. Lube proud of me again.
Yes indeed, when I step out onto that world class stage to audition for the Houston Symphony Orchestra, you can bet I won't be thinking about comfort zones, hooks, the state my life or opportunities squandered in the past. The only thing I will be thinking at that point is, "This one's for you, Mr. Lube."
(Side Note: You know, during one of my trombone lessons when I was a sophomore in high school, Mr. Lube looked at me and told me the mouthpiece I was playing on was named after him. In total awe, I looked down at the letters stamped on the bright shinny metal and read, "Bach 6 ½" AL" (intending for me to believe the AL was for Al Lube). He really told me that; and I really believed him… until I saw that coy little grin of his.)
Jim
Links to the other essays in this series;
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition #2
This One's For You, Mr. Lube - Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition #3 - Visualize the Entire Performance
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition #4 - Writers Have Recourse
Last Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition - Back to Corn Cobb
Took me time to read all the comments, but I enjoyed the article.
Posted by: essay papers | November 25, 2009 at 03:51 AM