(In 2007 I came across a once in a lifetime opportunity for a trombone player such as myself; auditioning for the Houston Symphony Orchestra. During my preparation I wrote six pieces about my thoughts at the time. This is the first.)
Preamble - Most people probably never have cause to think about the career opportunities of a trombonist with classical aspirations. But that's OK, if you've ever noticed; the trombone section sits on the back row of a symphony orchestra. So it stands to reason that for someone who aspires to be in the back row, what most people think is not much of a concern. Not that we don't care mind you. It's just that in a symphony orchestra it's the job of the Maestro to worry about such things as what most people think. That frees up our time to just worry about not screwing up the music.
In the fall of 2007 a very rare opportunity presented itself to me. The bass trombone player for the Houston Symphony Orchestra was retiring and the chair was up for grabs. It was a huge opportunity that I had been waiting for most of my life. In fact, the wait was so long that it realistically took me out of the running altogether. But the trombone player in me still wanted to give it a shot.
As I was going through the preparation process I wrote about my experiences. Not that I thought anyone world be interested; it was just to give the writer in me something to do while my attention was focused on the trombone player part of myself.
Now several years later; the writer in me wants to post his stuff on the internet. Even though I didn’t think it to be a good idea I could tell the writer in me was adamant. So in order to avoid a big argument (I always hate arguing with myself, I never seem to win) I relented.
For the next few weeks I will be posting my thoughts on this audition as I went through the process. Below is the first. I hope you enjoy it.
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition #1
I have to say that my thoughts about major symphony auditions are a bit muddled at this point. I am sitting in a chair, a bit slumped over in the middle of my living room as my hand loosely grasps the trombone sitting upright on my knee.
Most of the living room is dark this night except for the music stand in front of me. It is illuminated by the sharp white light of a lamp. Perched upon it is the bass trombone part from Strauss's Ein Heldenleben, and to my left, in the soft reflected light from the music stand, is a dining table with a tuner, metronome, more sheet music and various trombone maintenance paraphernalia scattered about.
It has been fifteen hours since I awoke this morning. In that time I have spent two hours in traffic, nine hours at work and until about an hour ago, I was engulfed in the tasks of personal daily maintenance. Now I am facing this monster of a bass trombone part and trying to play it on this monster of a musical instrument… all the while, physically fighting every inch of my mind and body in an effort to imbue the performance with all the subtleties and nuances required for a world class presentation. And let me tell you; a world class presentation is just the ante in trying to win a major symphony orchestra position of any kind.
But now, fatigue is starting to make its presence felt throughout my person. As my slumped posture deepens, I am overcome with the desire to just accept things as they are and go to bed. After all, I don't have a chance to win. It would take divine intervention of some sort in order for me to win and be offered the position. Oh, I know, I can just hear my Mother's voice now, "You gotta have faith. Believe in yourself."
Sure, I'm good enough to be the bass trombonists for the Houston Symphony - if given the situation to practice properly. But then, with so many first rate music programs in the college’s and Universities now-a-days so are a lot of others. And I know some are a lot better than I. I'm just hoping those guys won't be able to make it to this audition. But then, that's all part of the divine intervention scenario. And I'm leaving that in the hands of my Mother and her novena's.
All I know is that a major symphony audition can not be a test for personal faith because of the mathematics involved - the mathematics of professional music, as I call it. There are a lot more qualified musicians out there than full time opportunities. That's where politics comes in – now that's the good productive kind of music politics I'm talking about here. And in my case, I am not politically aligned.
Case in point; fifteen hours ago, a person with the proper political alignment, would have awakened and immediately had the opportunity to start practicing. Then, using their freshest mental and physical abilities would plan the whole day around preparing for the audition. By the time that person reaches the time of night I am currently in, they would be going to bed.
So, this leaves me with the question of why I am doing this. Why am I putting out this kind of effort for something that has very little chance of success? All I can say is that, because of the prior political alignments I had, I am still able to receive invitations to auditions. So maybe, just maybe, I'm going through this for all those trombonists out there who currently share the same lack of alignment as I. The ones who practice just a hard as everyone else; the ones whose desire runs just as deep, but, because of the life situation they are in, will never have the political alignment needed for success.
So, on stage during my audition, I will be the voice for all the less fortunate of my trombonistic brethren. As I face that partition with the judges behind it, I will be carrying the hopes and desires of all those who dream of one day making it to the musical big time.
Yeah… that's it. That's the ticket. I'll be sort of like the Tom Joad of downtrodden classical trombonists.
And from here on, in a very Steinbeckian way; I'll be all around in the dark. I'll be everywhere. Wherever you can look, wherever there's a fight, so hungry trombonists can eat, I'll be there. Wherever there's an orchestra conductor beatin' up a trombonist, I'll be there. I'll be in the way trombonists yell when they're mad. I'll be in the way trombonists laugh when they finally get invited to audition, and when a trombonist becomes part of a major symphony orchestra and starts paying their own way with the money they earn, I'll be there, too.
Just so you know, I am resolute in making at least a good showing in this audition. So, even if it takes spinning a load of crap like I just did to inspire myself to practice a little longer … that's what I'll do.
Well, gotta go practice now.
Jim
(Sorry Mr. Steinbeck for altering your literary masterpiece just to help me practice a little longer. I hope you don't mind.)
Links to the other essays in this series;
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition #2
This One's For You, Mr. Lube - Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition #3 - Visualize the Entire Performance
Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition #4 - Writers Have Recourse
Last Thoughts on a Major Symphony Orchestra Audition - Back to Corn Cobb
